Dinner with Jeffrey Dahmer
Met a fiftysomething male at a London event
Not very fit, but will do . . .
Had 2 dates, comme ci comme ça,
Let’s persevere . . .
Third date – dinner at his place,
Great expectation, high anticipation.
Roast lamb, followed by sex, not hot, just sex
Lodger was nowhere to be seen – no worries,
Kitchen very dirty,
Glasses very dirty,
Cutlery, very crooked
Pans, very black, and very large
Offered a glass of some fizzy thing, no champagne – not good
Juices start to dry up
Mousetraps on kitchen floor
Are those mousetraps or toestraps, I wonder . . .
Getting cold in here
Lamb dinner looked dead
Meat looked eerily suspicious
Jeffrey Dahmeresque vibe rising
‘Oh dear’, I exclaimed
‘I must have left something in my car’
Grabbed my coat,
My bag and keys . . .
‘Rather nippy outside, be back in a mo’, I shouted back,
Dashed for the door
Sex no more
See you never Jeffrey!
Featured image is from The Spider and the Fly by Mary Howitt and illustration by Tony DiTerlizzi